And I rolled over and lied,and watched you smoking with your right hand , your left arm making you a fake pillow, half touching the back side of the bed. And kept watching and watching you, lusting after you as no one ever have.

Your cigarette burnt all, you half stood up looking for where to put it out. Instead of looking for an ashtray,  I watched you slowly pushing it on my exposed naked back. I didn’t see your face, i only watched your hand and cigarette, I didn’t move and let you finish what you started. I stood up after it was over and tears filled my eyes.

“I only cry because all these years I believed you might not have loved me, but you wouldn’t harm me either. “, i said and dressed up unwillingly.

I sit in the room’s armchair, by the bed. I rolled a cigarette from my tobacco – found them lying somewhere on the floor, and light it up with the lighter he had given me once.

From the radio true love will find you in the end started playing (…)

*Title borrowed from the song

And why for (any) Gods shake, nobody after they died has ever come in contact with us? I mean, we ALL wonder what happens when we die, and if you know it and you die, then you know that people, ex. your family, are wondering how have you been.

So, this rises the question: “why aren’t they contacting us?” And then, they don’t do it because they are having such a great time enjoying themselves, that they couldn’t even take some time and let us know? Or is it the other way around? Is it so terrifying that they would better say nothing? But, ummm.. shouldn’t we better be prepared? I know, it’s not fair, but let’s all help for the common good here.

Come on, people. There’s something hidden in this whole story.

Enlighten me.

Εκείνη τη μέρα είχα για σένα τον δίσκο των Madrugada – Industrial Silence μαζί μου, δεν σου είχα πει τίποτα γι’αυτούς, θα ήταν έκπληξη.

Από τότε δεν άκουσα ούτε ένα τους τραγούδι, θυμόμουν πάντα το κενό. Πώς να το ξεχάσω, άλλως τε; Ήμουν θυμωμένη με το συγκρότημα,  πέταξα στον πρώτο κάδο και το δίσκο που ήταν στην τσάντα μου σαν να ήταν άλλος κι όχι εγώ, θαρρείς κατά κάποιο τρόπο να έφταιγε η μουσική που δεν με περίμενες. Όμως ήμουν θυμωμένη, γιατί δεν σου έμαθα τους Madrugada. Tους Madrugada μου.

Θα βάλω δυνατά αυτό το τραγούδι, για να σπάσω τα ξόρκια των καιρών, των ανθρώπων, εαυτού,  θα κλείσω τα μάτια και ίσως εκεί, χίλια μίλια μακριά, η μουσική να έρθει να σε βρει.

Γιατί έτσι.

Serendipity, |ˌserənˈdipitē|
noun
the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way : a fortunate stroke of serendipity | a series of small serendipities.

Serendipity! Μα τί όμορφη λέξη. Τι όμορφο συναίσθημα που αφήνει!

– Σε είδα σήμερα, έτσι τυχαία, μόνο για λίγο.

Edgar Allan Poe

Marguerite Yourcenar

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~Albert Einstein